I have become rather annoyed with car drivers of late. I suppose that goes with living on the outskirts of London and only driving myself once or twice a week (I walk to work, and most other places at that). In light of this I thought I would put together a new Suburban Highway Code for how to survive on those wild roads.
The minimum speed in a built-up area is 30mph. For Widmore Road and Masons Hill, this is increased to 50mph.
Slow down to 30mph for speed camera before revving off at 50mph when past its range.
Once the traffic warden has been past, you should park on double-yellow lines or other restricted spaces.
Obey all traffic restrictions. Except when the traffic is a bit busy in town but the bus lanes are empty.
Refrain from using your indicators at all times. Especially avoid letting pedestrians know where you're going.
Traffic lights are for show. If they're red, just go straight through.
I had trouble finding signs for no mobile phone hands-free kits permitted and bus drivers must ignore the entire Highway Code.
'Thanks Sherlock' footnote: THIS IS A JOKE!
