On Saturday I went to the cinema for the first time since Attack of the Clones. There has been something about 'Hollywood' films that have been putting me off recently that Gabriel Byrne seemed to sum up very well in one of the Usual Suspects DVD special features (as well as "a million times before"):
…allied with the cynicism of the way movies are put together, the product placement and spin-offs and toys and all kinds of crap that have nothing to do with the telling of stories, they've turned movies into McMovies. …when the movie-goer gets his movie, it's like a hamburger. He doesn't want a piece of aubergine in there. He wants his onion, his tomato, his hamburger and his bun. He doesn't want the bun hard, he wants if soft, and he wants it in two minutes.
He was of course referring to the homogeneity and commercialisation of cinema rather than his seemingly personal taste for fast food, but I can see where he is coming from. Nevertheless I went, rather sceptically, to see 40-year-old Virgin and was pleasantly surprised. Of course there was the cheesy (that's one for you, Gabriel!) ending, but it was genuinely, but often subtley funny. Just the sort of humour I like, and well away from typical American gross out films such as the American Pie trilogy. Maybe I'll visit the Odeon (still not fully available to non-MSIE browsers!) more often…?
After the first episode of the new Bremner, Bird and Fortune series last night was Death of Celebrity, hosted, quite ironically, by Piers Morgan. Somehow since his demise from The Mirror (oh, how we laughed at those photos!), he has come to realise the worthlessness of celebrities who are celebrities just for being celebrities. (I am aware that makes no sense, but bear with me). The comparison of Colin Jackson as an athletics star who was (and still is) celebrated for his record-breaking achievements on the track with Rebecca Loos or George Best's son – both who only seem to be famous for sleeping with other low-brow celebrities – was highly amusing.
Piers' attempted interview with Abi 'home video' Titmuss showed how shallow she really was. "So what is it you actually do," he asks with muted anticipation. "What do you do?" comes the reply. "Who is the real Abigail Titmuss?" "Who is the real Piers Morgan?". This woman must be so insecure with herself that she cannot even attempt to answer these perfectly reasonable questions. By avoiding the answers and aggressively turning the questions around, it shows how shallow her character really is.
What was more concerning however, was the impact these sorts of characters have on the younger generation. What do they even make of these people who are famous and adored just for appearing on a reality show or getting their baps out on Page Three? The program concluded with Ms Titmuss at her booksigning ("I've got the notes at home!") with goggle-eyed children having their photos taken with her. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Celebrity!
And finally, today saw the hyped-up launch of the new look Guardian newspaper in new 'Berliner' format, as adopted by many European counterparts. "It is neither a tabloid nor a broadsheet" and is Britain's only full-colour newspaper. How long it stays at 60p weekdays is currently unknown. The paper is certainly pretty and its compacted size will certainly help commuters on the sweaty trains, but it foes feel a lot more taboid-y to me. With the large photographs and 'at a glance' panels, as well as the new Egyptian font, it seems very far away from the same paper I read just two days ago.
I am sure we will all get used to it, but personally I would have preferred an overhaul of their website as I still find it rather cumbersome to use. Navigation remains poor and there is too much whitespace leading to never-ending scrolling down the page to complete an article. Yet it is still used by over 11 million people a month, well ahead of their competitors. Maybe it is just my hatred of the Back button…
