She says: Why do I look so disguting in photos?
You Think: Perhaps It’s that false smile you put on. It looks a bit unnatural
You say: Everyone looks crip in pics - look at the one with my pants on my head!
She says: Do I have BO?
You Think: Are Pammy Anderson’s boobs plastic?
You say: No but if you’re worried, I think I’ve got deodorant in my bag.
She says: Do you think that boy fancies me?
You Think: Weeeell, not if the way he was snogging Mandy last night is anything to go by.
You say: Not as much as he fancies himself - you can do much better than that!
She says: Is my skirt too short?
You Think: It’s a skirt is it? I thought it was a belt.
You say: It looks pretty sexy but don’t you think you’ll get leered at?
She says: You would tell me if I was irritating you wouldn’t you?
You Think: What like right now?
You say: Sure. But if you want me to be honest, you have to promise not to get too upset.
She says: Why do I get crap marks for my homework?
You Think: Because you’d rather stare at your Boyzone posters than do homework!
You say: Well you’re certainly not stupid, thats for sure. Maybe you need to concentrate more. Why don’t we try doing our homework together one night?
She says: What do you think of my new hairdo?
You Think: Well, the words “pudding basin” and “Domestos bleach-job” do spring to mind.
You say: Well, it’s just so different! I think it’s great that you took the plunge and went for something so dramatic!
She says: Why do people bitch about me?
You Think: Well your insecurity and paranoia does tend to get on people’s nerves.
You say: Oh, they’re just jealous of you. Stop worrying about what other people think of you - you’re as great as you are!
She says: Is the zit on my forehead really noticeable?
You Think: Well, yeah now you’ve pointed it out!
You say: I was too busy worrying about my own impersonation of a pizza to notice! If you are worried, you can use some of my concealer.
She says: Why does everyone always finish with me?
You Think: Because you always discuss get married no the second date!
You say: Maybe you’re giving away too much about yourself too soon. Try to be a bit more aloof and mysterious.
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